So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
