Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
