I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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