u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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