You can't motorboat a personality
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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