Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
