sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
