You can't motorboat a personality
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Houston, we have a squirter
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
