remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
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All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
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He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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