if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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