That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
