i don't like sucking hair
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
