I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
