So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
