Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
