I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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