So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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