Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
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