you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
