we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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