It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
