hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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