i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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