I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
