All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
