I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
