This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
