On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
