I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
