Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
