i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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