shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I just googled if crying burns calories
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
