The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
