i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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