beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
