And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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