Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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