i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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