literally had 100 drinks last night.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize