If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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