So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
