Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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