every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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