yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
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my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
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What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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