another moral hangover. fuck.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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