Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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