i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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