if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
