I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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