Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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