I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
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