Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
