Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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