What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize