It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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