she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
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i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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