yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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