I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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