Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
