her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
