It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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