Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Randomize
