I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
