I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
